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19 April 2006 @ 08:30 pm
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
In response to the prompt: Write a story beginning with the line,
"She was barefoot when she heard the car door slam and his heavy boots." Our whole class did it -- they mostly ended up about wife-beaters. I don't know if mine is finished or not.

She was barefoot when she heard the car door slam and his heavy boots. Her heart raced – she didn’t care what her parents said, she didn’t know him and she didn’t want to go! But when she’d complained to Grandma, Grandma had only said, “Don’t worry, dear, Keifer only looks scary. He’s quite the nicest young man you’ll ever meet,” and handed her a glass of milk.

His footsteps crunched up the gravel driveway, and she ran to hide in the crawlspace beneath the house. He walked past her to the back door, the one friends and family always used. When he knocked, Grandma answered almost immediately. “Oh, you’re here!” she exclaimed, sounding delighted.

“Where is she?” Keifer asked, sounding a lot less delighted.

“She was out in the garden, just a moment ago.”

His feet turned towards the back yard. “Lily?” he called a few times. When she didn’t answer, he walked back to the driveway, shouting her name into the empty field of grass next door. When she still didn’t answer, Lily saw his black leather boots striding back towards her hiding place. They paused right in front of her, and suddenly he kneeled so that they were face to face.

“Gotcha,” he said. “Now come on out. We’re going to be late.”

“Oh, Lily!” Grandma sounded disappointed. Lily crawled out, her hands and knees and dress now as grimy as her bare feet. “Let me just get her cleaned up…”

“No time,” Keifer interrupted. “Do you have her suitcase?”

“Yes, it’s just here…” Grandma handed it to him. Lily wanted to snatch it back.

Keifer tucked the small pink suitcase under his left arm, and looked down at the bedraggled Lily. “Where are your shoes?”

“I’ve lost them,” she said.

Grandma sighed. “I’ll go have a look around.”

“Never mind the shoes,” Keifer said. “She’ll survive without them.” And without any warning, he scooped Lily up and threw her across his right shoulder, toting both her and her bag towards his beat-up green sedan.

“Grandma, Grandma, help!” Lily shrieked. “I’m being kidnapped!”

“Nonsense, dear. Now, have a good time!” Grandma just waved her handkerchief in farewell, the white and yellow one with her initials embroidered on it.

Keifer deposited Lily in the passenger seat and her bag into the back, jogging around the front of the car to take the wheel. “See you, Rosie,” he called out the window to Grandma, and backed them down the driveway.
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Marshmallow Coast - Darkside of the Moon
Jack Tradesdreams4ever25 on April 27th, 2006 03:18 am (UTC)
Oh! I really like it! But I'm uneasy... who's this young man and why is he taking an even younger girl away from her grandmother?

I almost wanted it to be her father taking her away; the little girl was only pretending he was a stranger. But then I saw you had him marked as a 'young man' already. Hmm... meh, oh well!

I really likes it!